The nicest, most attractive girl in school with the tragic past she nonetheless would never talk about but sometimes sigh penitently with the cruel brush of sorrow over would be crowned Prom Queen. Nobody was surprised.

Her Prom King was this little shit, who had not asked for the limelight nor ever desired it. Its whole life had been tarnished with being used for other people’s purposes, an empty figurehead for their ideologies. The imp had been used up until some days it thought there was very little left. It had been passed from hand to careless, greedy hand, malleable clay of someone else’s desires. Who had demanded this royal ascension? In the game of prom thrones, it had won and died.

However, the imp would discover that in its queen was spouse and protector, as she rechristened it “Jessica Impson” and made it one of her ninety-eight matesprits.

—SHOW EPILOGUE—

<3 ~ i have a crush on every fantroll ~ <3<

==>dont you FORG3T 4BOUT M3 >:]

Feferi, Sollux and Eridan would spend the night of Promcoming wearing Sollux’s clothes and watching back-episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Sollux and Eridan would engage in their very favourite thing to do together when watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was to fight about it.

Feferi Peixes would engage in her favourite thing to do when listening to them argue, which was to get completely crunk.

—SHOW EPILOGUE—

sol you are bein dabsolutely obstunate not to mention completely wwrong

oh my god two fii2h pun2 iin one 2entence.

kriill me now.

haww haww fuck you an stop tryin a distract from the argument

i cant believve youd evven suggest that the prime directivve is anyfin but the pinnacle a interstellar laww an order

are you 2tupiid? rhetoriical que2tiion, dont an2wer.

the priime diirectiive ii2 a load of 2hiit.

iit2 a niice iidea but the way they treat iit iin the actual 2how ii2 so iinept a2 two promote fa2cii2m.

yeah so wwhat

ju2t look at what a hot me22 janeway became becau2e the wriiters diidnt know what the fuck they were doiing.

Janeway is so glubbing ——EXTR——-EM——-E!

I love )(er! 38)

ok 2orry ff ii love you but you are 2o wrong.

dont you fuckin glub at my newwly renewwed moirail that wway you just dont get my girl katherine on accounta your blatant sexisms

oh yeah iim really gonna get pwned on femiinii2m by eriidan fuckiing ampora. ju2t becau2e you liike 2queeziing your bony a22 iinto a miinii2kiirt doe2 not make you troll andrea dworkiin.

more blatant coddamn examples of your sexism

Uggg)(. You boys s)(ore are BOR—-ES rig)(t now!

Why don’t you just kiss already??

wwhat

waiit.

Put your tongues toget)(er! YOUR -EMPR—-ESS D—-EMANDS IT!

Their Empress would later be put to sleep on the couch in the recovery position.

Mr. Noir would wake up to a bathtub filled with ice and a romantic note.

It would take Jack around thirty seconds to recall that, being a carapace, he did not have single organs analagous to kidneys.

Rose’s Mother, John’s Father and Dave’s Older Brother would go on to traumatize the youngest Strider, but decreed it was his fault for dragging himself home at eleven in the morning.

Rose and John would not believe a word of the story.

Jade Harley would go on to save the last dance of the night for two special people: the most brutally kawaii nekochan of AHS and her moirail, the baritone who ruled all brass with an e%ceptionally sweaty fist. She would make the same mistake that the Karkat of another doomed timeline did, only when it came to a Harley and butt touches, there was no such thing as mistake.

—SHOW EPILOGUE—

:00 < jade, did you just… touch my hot butt??

you….

….bet your sweet tail i did!!!

D —> But, Miss Harley

D —> Your graceful but certainly capable hand has also been misplaced in the area e%plicitly situated between my hips and knees

yep! one hand for each butt!

:DD < h33 h33 h33!! the sacramewntal oath is broken!

D —> But

D —> But, this means

:OO < what the hell are you pawssibly waiting for eq go fur it go fur it GO FUR IT

D —> Jade, it would be my privilege and honor to demand

D —> That is to say, if you would be at all amenable

yeeees? <3

D —> I mean, if you’d be at all open to the possibility of

D —> Goshdarnit

D —> That you allow me to e%ert my right to demand you attach your name to that of Leijon and Zahhak

pew pew!!!

jade wins! :D :D :D :D

Jade got betrothed to Nepeta Leijon, and by extension, Equius Zahhak. They were simply that kind of moirallegiance. They would all get matesprit married that coming summer and Gamzee Makara would catch the bouquet, though he would then get confused and think it fell from space.

:33 < aishiteru jadechan my beautiful wedding peach <33

:33 < i wanted to be perfect shoujoais with you for such a long time

:33 < i just nefur thought this ship would become canon!

oh please, this ship is like the best ship ever! :o i really cant think of a better one to set sail, you are both the best people in all the world

D —> I have always loved you

D —> We will make you an honest woman Jade

D —> This I promise to you on the day of our precious wedding

:33 < high five!!

high five! <3 <3 <3

D —> Yes, a high fifteen

Her life would become a glorious pageant of Doraemon, protein powder and fursecution.

—SHOW EPILOGUE—

dang…… theres certainly been some AMAZING PROM ADVENTURING today! i feel a warm glow, almost like I drew four hundred pictures and now my hand is on fire.

and they all

lived

happily

ever

after

Uhhhhh no they didn’t. :c

In fact, many of their endings abounded with fridge horror. Though the nightmare should have been over, other promterrors were still intact. The events of that fateful promcoming would resonate throughout the characters’ lives marching band job prospects etc etc etc.

no…. but…… they kissed… how could it not all work out perfectly for everyone? oh wait, Karkat and John will always have awful lives.

i

need

closure

haha i need closure too! i guess we could give everyone some “closure”

Guys, wouldn’t it be more meaningful to let the individual reader imagine the ending that they liked best, creating a unique Promstuck experience for everyone who was unfortunate enough to follow along?

ill imagine that lord english busts in… and was the LIFE OF THE PARTY YEAH

I’ll imagine that it was all a hallucination, and that in reality the characters are lying dying on a windswept crag.

i’ll imagine that i have

the last

four months

of

my

life

back

woah rude!!!

Whoa, rude. :c

j/k

i never want

this to end

ever

i mean it

look at me

With that, I think we need to put the audience out of its badly-faked suspense and show everyone the ramifications of what happens when you smush John Egbert and Karkat Vantas’ mouths together at a prom.

lets all get together for the BEST part of promstuck: our retro 80s style ending montage!!!!

i know where

you

both

live

==>wont you come see about me, ill be alone dancing you know it baby!!! <3333333333

—SHOW PROM LOG—

This Is For Locking Me In A Closet

 This Is For Getting Inbetween Me And My Moirail

This Is For Obstructing The Course Of Prom Justice

And This Is For Not Recognising A Timeless Haircut When You See One

—SHOW PROM LOG—

Noooooooo!!!!!!!!

==>WHOP

—SHOW PROM LOG—

I came as fast as I could.

Thats Hardly Extraordinary

Yuck!!!!!!!!

I haven’t been danced with enough for that double-entendre, Maryam. Are you unharmed, or do I have to actively start not believing in fairies?

Im Quite Undamaged And More Importantly This Dress Has Been Liberally Coated In Stain Repellants So I Am Free From Abduction Tape Residues

Excellent. If you were interested, I’m in hock to my father, I’ve lost valuable loot-system points, and I had to construct John a Kinsey Scale made from Tic-Tacs and ticket stubs.

My Poor Darling However Will You Cope With These Brutal Indignities I Promise I Shall Apply Kisses To Your Gripping Multitude Of Hurts

You’d better. I feel the pain keenly everywhere. Let’s blow this joint, posthaste.

W…. W8!

You can’t do this. I’m the prom hero! I’m the Savior of Prom.

Without me, promcoming crum8les. It’ll 8e like one of Pupa’s dum8 wiggling day parties. You know that as well as I do, Kanaya! I’ve 8een to every one!

Oh, man. I 8et that even now, someone’s cuing up the Cluck8east Dance. You just can’t afford to hold this against me.

The tortoise beat the hare, Serket. Prom was saved, what, five whole minutes ago?

The fuck you say!

Stop 8eing a 8ig fakey 8am8oozler, Lalonde. There is no8ody at this party with the power to save it 8ut me.

I’m the last 8est hope for prom!

You were mistaken.

There was another.

==>